Kho Tjandrawati

Pressure And Pleasure Of Raising Children

To start with, let's go through the lines written by Khalil Gibran: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come throught you but not from you. and throught they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
Parents and children, or family is the smallest social unit which has the duty to continue and to improve the next generation. In doing so, both of them will undergo pressure and pleasure. What needs to be done is decreasing the pressure and increasing the pleasure on both the parents and the children.
Undoubtedly, most parents love and cherish their children. parents will sacrifice their time, money and leisure to make the well-being and happiness of their children. unfortunately, in this modern materialistic world, influences and pressure have given heavier and heavier burdens to parents. It even threatens to tear the family apart.
Children are exposed to a wide range of expectation, consumption patterns and demands by their peers in school, environment, or other activities featured in advertisment throught the mass media which parents are forced to fulfill. We often hear sad news telling that teenagercommits suicide because the parents cannot his or her wish. To make matter worse, such teenagers usually belong to a not-well-to-do families in which parents are economiccaly weak. they are exposed to economic insecurity of being laid off by the company or having no jobs. There is sometimes a gap between parents are concerning their difference in age, interest, education, and idea. Consequenly, parents as the breadwinners must cope with psichological demands.
Most parents have their wordly expectation and will feel a sense of failure if their children do not ie up to them. Parents will demand that their children attain high score in their school subjects regardless of their capability. Parents believe that by achieving high score their children can find good jobs which lead them to material attainment, while spiritual values are sadly neglected. Having well-paid job and climbing up the social ladder are stressed more than virtues such as gratitude, honesty, integrity, kindness, and tolerance.
Parents, without thinking of the consequences, encourage, and even force their children to work hard, to compete and to excel for what the class 'success' while neglecting the need to establish an inner peace with themselves.
Whether the children have the interest or not, they are expected to go to the school which the parents think best, under he misguided belief that it is very important for success and happiness. Won't it be wise to see the children's talent and provide the activites in accordance to their talent and ability?
Success and happiness do not lie in mastering such accomplistment alone. If parents really love and care with their children, they should not place the children under such pressure, as they can give rise to emotional insecurity in their adulthood. It is he parents "responsibility to recognize the children's talents, gifts and aptitudes and train them according to their mentality to do the best they can for their benefit and others". In this way, parents have prepared their children to be happy, successful, and considerate adult with integrity.